Soulmates. Do they really exist? Or is it some made-up thing that we all really really want to be true, but it’s not a reality. I’ve been polling people about it. Trying to formulate an opinion based on something other than fairy-tale romance or cynicism.
The responses have been interesting. Quite interesting indeed. I will say every single person I’ve asked unequivocally believes in the idea of soulmates but of all of them, only one person actually believes he has found his soulmate. (Consequently, he did not in fact believe in soulmates until he found his.)
After one such conversation, I feel I should start by defining my idea of what a soulmate even is. Richard Bach said, “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”
A soulmate makes you feel whole, complete, healed. The relationship and the emotions that come as a result of it can not adequately be put into words. “Love” seems a shallow describer. Soulmates just “get” each other, sometimes even without a back story or history. Both of you will feel protected and secure, as if your partner will protect you no matter what. And hand in hand with that, it feels like it’s the two of you against the world, like you can conquer anything together. Soulmates cannot imagine life without the other in it and are inseparable mentally (for example you might call one another at the same time). The relationship is intense.
With that in mind…. do they exist? I have firmly sat in the “no way” category, up until recently. I have never seen the real evidence of their existence and it seems people say they meet “the one” all the time and yet the relationship doesn’t pan out in the end. If you have really met your true soulmate, wouldn’t it last throughout the years and the passage of time? That’s my theory. Soulmates should be forever.
In my conversations, the consensus seems to be: soulmates exist but it’s rare. To somehow bump into that one in all our travels appears to be hit-and-miss. One person told me he believes that you can have a lifemate and a soulmate. And if you (as he has) have chosen a lifemate and later meet your soulmate, then the only thing you can share is passions but not life. That sounds pretty sad to me. I think we all want happiness and to be fulfilled. If I met my soulmate, I’d want to be with them. Solely experiencing shared passions, in my opinion, wouldn’t cut it. I’d want more. I’d want it all, not just a piece.
It seems that most of us also believe that once you’ve met your soulmate, there’s no walking away from it. While I did have two people say they felt you could meet your soulmate and then continue on in life without them, every other person who has put thought into the subject firmly disagreed. Meeting that one special person makes a deep and lasting permanent mark on your spirit and there’s no getting around that. A bond is felt between the two of you and it’s not easily (if ever) broken.
In my quest to make a major change in my life, to stop squandering what I have to offer the world, and to make a difference in the lives of the people I come into contact with, I have accidentally and quite suddenly stumbled upon my true soulmate. It knocked me upside the head and punched me in the gut. I wasn’t looking for love. Didn’t believe in true love. I was simply going along in life, when there it was: true real unfiltered non-biased honest-to-goodness Love.
All the cheesy cliches suddenly pop in my head. Songs I never identified with make sense. Movies I’d seen now mean something. Apparently, I’ve never known real love before. Affection: certainly. Brotherly love: absolutely. A meeting of souls: never. And yet…. here I am, in utter love with a man I’ve known most my life. We’ve always been great friends. Buddies. I considered him my peapod friend, as we click so well, seemingly cut from the same cloth, we’ve always “gotten” each other. So, there’s always been this bond between us.
And yet, one day, sitting at the beach in my truck together we sat and talked for a few hours and something changed. Something morphed in my heart. I was convinced that while we sat there, aliens came down and did an experiment on us, cutting out our hearts with precision and swapping them in our chests. Whatever happened, or why, or how, I can’t begin to understand. I just know that the bond between us had morphed and I felt inexorably attached to him, although I had no real words for it. Then about five or six days later, it hit, like literally slammed me in my chest: I was head-over-heels in love with him. It wasn’t just friendship anymore. It was deeper. More pure. Real. In a short span of a moments, I had gone from a partial soul to a complete one. I am whole. I am cleansed. I am one.
Of course, I didn’t at the time believe in “soulmates”. I just figured we had this deep intense connection that morphed into love. So then I started asking people, random or otherwise, about this idea of soulmates. Do they exist? Is it a fantasy?
Well…. I will leave it up to you to fully decide, but my mind was made up for me. In my mind, soulmates exist, but it’s a rare gift bestowed upon the few. If you find your soulmate, hold on to them! You only get a little while with them before you two will part ways again.