Some months ago I fasted for what ended up being a total of 42 days. During that time I, as I sometimes do, had several intense visions and thoughts. Since I’ve been pondering True Love and old love, I want to share one of these visions which, as the case was, literally knocked me flat on my back (fortunately I happened to be standing next to my bed at the time and fell somewhat softly to it instead of the floor).
This vision not only literally blew me over physically, it also opened my mind to my then-current reality, living with a man who did not love me with a true love and who mentally and emotionally abused me. We had been for many years by then, I’d say at least fifteen years, where we were more like roommates who barely tolerated one another and less like a “married couple”.
Quite by “accident” during the fast, I also reconnected with a good friend of mine from days of old, who my partner had, as it happens, forbade me in the early months of our relationship from ever seeing again. I heard he was in town and drove the 40 miles to visit him for a few hours and there was an instant deep connection that within days we recognized and our friendship was reignited.
So all this soul-searching was going on, I was trying to get brave to leave my partner of twenty years, and a deep friendship was rekindled all in the span of a few months time.
I’m prone to dreams and visions, but generally for other people, not for myself. When I had this particular vision you are about to read, it took me a bit to recognize that this was MY heart. It freaked me out but it also gave me hope for the future. Enjoy and comment if you’d like.
I saw a dark, poorly-lit room with a cracked cement floor and peeling wallpaper and in the center of the room stood a cage. The cage was like an old-fashioned bird cage. It was covered in layers and layers of dried blood, some fresher than others.
Then I saw a heart, like a living human heart, greying on the edges, locked in the cage. The heart had deep cuts and superficial scars and all sorts of wounds in various stages of healing and severity. It also had wings that had been cut back over and over, demented and without care.
And I saw a key unlock the door and the heart began to beat weakly and the wings shuddered to life. And the door fell open and the heart wanted to fly but wasn’t able to no matter how hard it tried, since it was weak and lacked spirit. But as I looked closer I saw the wings, and as they fluttered, I saw new growth baby feathers underneath the old.
Then I saw a hand reach in and gently take hold of the heart and pull it out, then cupping it with both hands. And one hand covered over the heart so that it was entirely encased and covered by the two hands. Then the heart was uncovered and it was made clean and the scars were healed and the feathers were all clean and grown out full. And the hands lifted the heart high as if to encourage it to fly. The wings fluttered and spread, in anticipation of flight and as if to stretch its long-unused muscles.